t
all started for Cherrila Brown when she decided that it was time to let
her spice business grow. Get out there and sell it. Go for it, as it were.
To start easy and work into it she thought she’d head over to Cuttyhunk,
a tiny island near the Vineyard, with a winter population of 20 and a
little grocery store run by the Lombards... easy pickings.
It all started for Cuttyhunk Island months before, after the tourist season
was over. The lobster pots were in, the striped bass had gone south along
with the summer folks. The pond was frozen, the mail boat was down to
once a week, maybe, and a general vegetative state had set in. During
this time everybody was open to just about anything and Seth Garfield
got the idea that they all needed to learn cpr. A pretty good idea since
there are no medical facilities at all, excepting Ellen, the post mistress,
who says that she thinks she was a nurse on the mainland in around 1951
before “the funk” set in and she had to move to the island.
“I haven’t lost one yet, “ she says. If she has performed
surgery I’m not aware of it and if it was brain surgery it would
explain a lot.
Well anyway, the whole town, except for “Untsey” who has been
living on coke, potato chips and camels for fifteen years and saw no reason,
since he was sure to be the first victim, decided to learn CPR. That’s
Kennith Untsey with an “i”. He says that his mother just wanted
to be “a little different”. I don’t know about her but
he certainly is.
Well, it was pretty interesting to watch everybody do those strange things
to the blow-up doll that Wilfred Tilton got out of the “Fredrick’s
of Hollywood” catalogue.
nd here is where the trouble
started. Everybody just bursting with ability and nowhere to use it. Quite
the phenomenon. People started watching everybody else for signs of a
heart attack which made other people think that they were having one.
Likely candidates were being stalked. Untsey, who had never in his life
eaten a meal in another persons house, was invited out ever night. Something
had to give.
December 4 was a very nice day, too nice I’m afraid. The whole town
was down at the ferry dock milling around and chewing the fat. The mail
boat landed, as usual, and one lone strange soul stepped off, Cherrilla
Brown, Ms. “By the Sea Salt” on her first business junket.
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No
one’s quite sure just what happened to start the ball rolling. Mary
Sarmento is certain that she saw Cherrilla grab her chest. Untsey swears
that she burped. All anybody really knows for sure is that before she
knew what hit her Mary had her by the ankles, “hard hat” Wilder
got her about waist level and A.P. Tilton tipped her over. Arms and legs
were flying everywhere… she was being saved.

Talk about
an 'Outpost" - Cuttyhunk
It didn't take long for somebody to figure out that if Cherrilla was having
a heart attack three simultaneous doses of CPR were not going to save
her. So, one by one somebody had the presence of mind to grab them by
the feet and haul them off. Well there she was out, out cold, and looking
pretty sick. They threw her, sea salt and all, into the back of Kris’s
truck, she’s the storekeeper, and headed for the nearest house.
That was mistake number two.
Dickie Cornell is a fisherman and has been since the day he was born.
He works when there is light and sleeps when it’s dark, a fairly
basic approach. Dickie, therefore, has never seen the need for an elaborate
electrical system, hence the one and only one electrical outlet.
Now, the customary (not to be confused with correct) procedure when medivaccing
an injured person off of Cuttyhunk Island is as follows. The injured person
is brought to a house and made comfortable, the house being determined
by who is still talking to whom….. a very fluid condition. While
this is going on the entire rest of the town has arrived, plugged in their
hand held vhf radios and begun, “en masse”, to direct the
coast guard rescue helicopter to the landing pad. Sheer chaos, and to
know that no one has ever died as a result has to at least suggest the
existence of God.
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ell, they got Cherrilla
to Dickie’s alright, (good guy of the month) but another pig-pile
broke out over the lone outlet. Captain Ray had to run back to the mail
boat to call the Coast Guard in. The fight lasted right up until the helicopter
arrived………casualties mounted. Mary, dear heart, had
thrown her body, all seventy five pounds of gristle, bone, and religion
over Cherrilla to protect her. They think that’s how Cherrilla’s
jaw got cracked. The Coast Guard loved it, the simplest rescue they’d
ever made from Cuttyhunk. It made the fact that they had to come back
three times a little easier to take . When the smoke cleared there were
nine people who had to be taken off island for treatment, including Cherrilla
(remember her, the ” by the sea salt” salesperson on an easy
run- through for her sales pitch?) and seven others who were treated at
the post office and released. Needless to say there wasn’t any mail
that day. Ellen was in heaven. She hadn’t treated so many since
“hurricane Carol in nineteen hundred and fifty four.”
Cherrilla suffered that cracked jaw, three broken ribs, multiple bruises,
a five year setback in her ballroom dancing asperations, and a black eye
which could only have been the result of mistaken identity…….No
heart attack , although Mary says that if you live they can’t tell.
The rest of the injured included the three selectmen, the first aid coordinator,
two first responders, and Jack and Gladys Ashworth who are in their late
eighties and were given hand held radios at the Town Christmas party in
case they got lost and were there just to try them out. The injuries,
though varied, were not life threatening. Jack and Gladys gave the radios
back. They said that they appreciated the gesture but getting lost was
the safer option to any kind of rescue. Well, there you have it, the beginning
and end to Cherrilla Brown’s selling on the road career. As soon
as she was up and about she marched over to Al Mahoney’s, the website
man, “Hook me up.” she said, “It’s a dangerous
world out there.”
What’s all this got to do with “By The Sea Salt”? Nothing,
but it isn’t easy for a fifty year old woman to come to the realization
that the internet is the way to go……. we just thought you
should know that.
hear that there’s
a sign hanging from the Cuttyhunk Island ferry dock they put up after
their latest class:
Warning this Island is armed with the Heimlich Maneuver!
Visit often - I don't think that the fun is over. |